In our lifetime, we meet all types of people. I want to look cool. When I go on a blind date, I always get cold feet. When I go to a business meeting, I always care how it looks. How about you? It was a very prominent question in my mind. In truth, I want to be someone who is expected to attract people. I want to be an influential person. Also I want to live meaningful life. Let’s try to find out.
In 2011, four psychologists in the United States had a interesting study. The topic is ‘Who are we attracted to?’ There are two experiments.
Researchers recruited college students who can come with a friend and asked them to talk about ‘friendship’, and filmed them. 70 people’s self-esteem and meaning of life were measured by a simple questionnaire. Meanwhile, evaluators also were recruited. Watch this video and Ask them.
“How much do you want to be friends with this person?” Please mark as one of one to five points.
What is the result? In conclusion, There was a clear factor to impact on the likability. ‘The meaning of life’ level is a key factor. People, who said that their life is more meaningful, received high marks for evaluators than not. The interesting thing is that they don’t say any words like ‘meaning of life’. Nevertheless, the evaluators is naturally attracted to people who have a clear meaning in life. What about ‘self-esteem’? Self-esteem is to think them valuable and positive. We are attracted to people like this, isn’t it? According to analysis, ‘Self-esteem’ has nothing to do with ‘likability’. Easy to say, we don’t have a good feeling more to high self-esteem. On the contrary, we do not have a good feeling less to low self-esteem. Looking themselves positive and having a meaning to life is different. Here I was stunning. I thought I can’t be charming because I don’t have self-esteem. A ray of hope appeared.
We want to verify clearly whether we really loved to people who have a clear meaning in life or not. We reinforce the conditions. First, they introduce themselves. Second, the time limit is 10 seconds. Third, the question is three.
“How much do you like?”
“Do you want to be friends?”
“How much are you funny if you have a talk with this person?”
The same outcomes are difficult to emerge because we reinforce the conditions. According to analysis, the meaning of life is still a powerful impact on the likeability. The evaluators give higher scores to people clearly aware of the meaning of life. They say they want to be friends with them and it will be a good conversation. What about other factors?
Researchers considered degree of happiness, religious sentiment, personality trait. But these have no impact or very small. So far, these studies based on Viktor Emil Frankl‘s claim for ‘the meaning of life’. The key point is that ‘Humans have basic drives to pursue the meaning of life’ Researchers defined the meaning of life can be magneticforce. We are attracted to people who live a inner-centered and meaningful life rather than people who have a plausible external image.
Certainly, I’ll be happy if I have the meaning of life. Also, many people will like me. But how can we increase ‘The meaning of life’ level? It is our homework left. Let’s find together for next time. 🙂
If you know the why, you can live any how. – Friedrich Nietzsche