These days, we spend a lot of time alone at home because of the novel coronavirus. COVID-19 has changed a lot of our things. I heard that jobs are a problem, and the economy has stagnated a lot.
In the beginning, I had a lot of time, so I did things I haven’t done before, and it was fun and happy. But as time went by, productive activities were needed, and I worked hard to manage myself, but the depression didn’t go away. Aren’t you?
During this period, I read 25 books, watched 18 movies, and 6 dramas. I studied medicine for 120 hours, and I’m focusing on what I really want to do these days. But I slept much more and did a lot of other useless things because I couldn’t concentrate.
In fact, there have been some depressing incidents recently. To confess, I am about three years behind my friends in our career. There’s something I wanted to do, and I’m almost all-in for it. As a result, medicine was a little behind, and it was three years late. Recently, I saw my friends taking graduation pictures. They looked happy. It was a complicated feeling.
In good timing, I got a call from my mother then. It was news from two of my friends who go to two of the best hospitals in South Korea. They are now taking internships. I had mixed feelings.
Of course, I get blamed. If you spent three years studying without doing anything else, wouldn’t you be making a lot of money by now? Like friends. Like those friends who are smiling and taking pictures.
Actually, I’m still doing it, and I’m not going to give up. I just chose to study medicine at the same time. There are a lot more people who don’t know the value of this work, but it’s really incredible. Time will tell everyone. At that time, your choice was a really wise one.
It’s what I do because I like it, but I can’t avoid being lethargic sometimes. When I was going through complicated emotions, a friend sent me a phrase. It was comforting.
“Do you know why you started it because you wanted to, but why do you feel lethargic? It’s because we are too eager to do well. So when I meet myself who is not good at it, I blame myself. You will also be compared to those who work hard and do well. I hope you can look at yourself warmly who is not good at it. Such a person can last for a long time, and repetition gathers to create capabilities.”
I think it has something to do with loving myself. I hope this article comforts you, too.
I was going to talk about the importance of peace, but I felt I didn’t have to mention it any more. Because we already know it too well.
In fact, this is out of the question of knowing. What is the problem? First, say it clearly. This is neither your fault nor mine. It’s all our fault.
It is none of your business
Most of us are busy making ends meet. I am also busy living my life. We don’t have time to pay attention.
We have learned the word peace from textbooks and lectures. Also, we even donate to UNICEF or Doctors Without Borders. Get a job, have a family, and raise children. Get old with my spouse.
Our lives were not always happy, but moderately unhappy, sometimes happy. Ten years after my death, at least one person will remember me.
There is very little room for peace in this general life. If there is any overlap of misfortunes, there is no more room. This is the reality.
No one can blame us for this reality
We don’t blame anyone else. We don’t call each other hypocrites.
Because we make up the majority of mankind. Compared to mankind as a whole, the people facing war are a minority.
We don’t have to worry every night that the bomb will blow up our house. We don’t have to worry about how to live after mom and dad die in the war.
So, we don’t think peace is important. No, we maybe think it’s important and we talk about importance of peace, but we usually live off the top of our head.
I’m sorry. This is real. I don’t want to let a little girl in Syria know this reality.
Change actually takes a long time. But I know that the most substantial and short-lived peace organization has achieved great achievements. So, I’m also thinking about pinning my hopes on it this time.
This posting is just my opinion. I want to say that I really respect everyone who works hard and risking their lives for peace.
I recently read a book about self-esteem, “Self-esteem Lesson, Korean Ver (자존감 수업 : 하루에 하나, 나를 사랑하게 되는 자존감 회복 훈련)” It is written in Korean only. It is a book that a psychiatrist (윤홍균, 정신건강의학과 의사) wrote for his daughters based on the knowledge he gained from his long experience.
In psychology, the term self-esteem is used to describe a person’s overall sense of self-worth or personal value. (Verywell Mind) In other words, it is an individual’s subjective evaluation of their own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame. (Wiki)
The reason I read this book is because my top priority these days is to get rid of low self-esteem and self-reproach. This is because I heard this from someone I respect recently. She also told me that I’m enough competent.
When I read the book, I found that self-esteem was really connected to many problems, such as marriage, dating, work life, relationships between friends, and myself. The point was that I didn’t love myself. It’s “self-distrust.” How about someone on your back, criticizing you all day and comparing you to others? You can’t even run away. It’s so terrible. 🙁
My core feelings are “sadness” and “inferiority.” I could explain my feelings clearly through this book. I have a huge desire to be recognized by others. So, I kept looking at other people, and I usually looked at people who were better than me. That’s why I felt inferior.
Comparing my shortcomings to others’ good points, I always lost. I had high expectations of myself, and I was often frustrated. This gave me disappointment and low self-esteem. If disappointment lasts long, it becomes sadness.
After that, when there was a mistake, I started to blame myself first. The premise of my thoughts was that I tried to protect myself by blaming myself for fear of being criticized by others. I also hated myself.
In fact, there were so many hard work. It was a day that was really difficult, teary, painful, compared, scolded, and felt I was insignificant. I was not recognized by those who I respect. I secretly got angry and cried a lot.
I think I actually needed comfort. It was necessary to say, ‘It’s okay, you can do it.’ But now I can understand and forgive. We all had a hard time then, and we’ve walked the hard way together. She had a situation, too. She had lived a life that was not appreciated by strict father, and that was why I was more severely scolded by her.
What do we want most from our lovers when we’re dating? I think it’s looking at me as I am. But I don’t really see myself that way. I will now cherish and love me a lot. “It’s okay, you can do it. You can do it!!” I will trust my own judgment, make my own choices and make decisions. I will believe in me and comfort me, even if my troubles come like waves again.
Rachel McAdams is so lovely… It gave me a fantasy about love. I don’t know how many times I cried in the scene where he spent time with my father. He tells us the secret of happiness at the end. I was impressed. 🙁
2. The Greatest Showman
The character of Hugh Jackman was really attractive. And the movie is the best with the OST and musical scenes. Considering the meaning of the movie, it’s the best movie ever. Especially, in the song “This Is Me,” they was ashamed of themselves, but now they become self-reliant. It means that they had grown up a lot. All the songs are so good.
3. Begin Again
This movie is also one of the best in OST. I have nothing to say. I love you!!
4. Dead Poets Society
Carpe diem! The most memorable scene is when he said “Boys, you must strive to find your own voice.” I’ve been into poetry since I saw this movie.
5. The Intern
Anne Hathaway is a successful young female CEO. She was so cool. And Robert De Niro’s classic charm of subsidizing her with wisdom made me fall for “classic.” I want to be a classic man, who is more valuable as he was used longer.
Hi, I’m Ming Taylor. I am 26 years old and live in Sydney. I came from Korea to study abroad, and I’m a medical student.
But I didn’t write much about medicine. lol It’s not that I’m not interested at all, but I was a little lost because I had a shocking incident when I was 20. This is when I decide to become a real doctor, not just a doctor. I’ll tell you later.
Sydney Central Station
Then, I have a one question. What more do I know when I make a lover, and can I really say I know about him or her? It’s so difficult. keep thinking!
5 Keywords to explain me
My 11 Notes
International Organization
UN & Peace
Artistic Sense
Single Startup Company
1. “My 11 Notes”
: In a word, I’m currently writing my 11th notes with all the things that inspire me. It doesn’t matter. I write everything like books, people, YouTube videos, lectures, ideas that I find while taking a walk. It is the most precious treasure of my life.
I started keeping a diary when I was 19 years old. Korea is a country with a very high passion for education. Especially, I was on the top class of the students like the drama “Sky Castle,” which is about students competing fiercely to enter Korea’s top medical school. I had to study 15 hours a day from 13 to 19. What was needed most at this time was mental management. This is when I began to write down.
The most recent writings are “The Great Learning, The Doctrine of the Mean, Confucian Analects, The Works of Mencius,” and “The Story of Art” of Ernst Gombrich. There are still seven books borrowed from the library. 🙂
2. “International Organization”
: I intend to become a doctor and work for an international organization. I’m also planning to have a master’s degree in public health, which is a must, and I want to work in places like Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) or WHO. Why?
When I was young, I thought I could help many people as a doctor. However, while attending medical school in Korea at the age of 20, all of the fantasies were shattered. I got lost, I lived without a destination.
I’m sure there are many good doctors, but the doctors I met were busy spending money and obscene. My values were shocking. Since then, I think I’ve been looking for more and more. Among them, I was influenced a lot by Dr. Lee Guk-jong. He told us that we should leave Korea. Please search for more details. There is a sad story.
I don’t know what projects I’ll be in charge of at the international organization, but for now, I’ve set the direction like this.
3. “UN & Peace”
: I love the United Nations and the value of peace. It is not just about fighting with guns. I am saying the answer that can solve all the problems.
Being interested in international organizations, I naturally became curious about the situation in the world. There were so many problems in the world. I think the problems of slavery and human rights have been resolved to some extent. But there’s still a long way to go.
This can be seen from just a glance at history. Human history is closer to the history of war than to peace. In 1945, World War II was over. At this time, the United Nations was founded to maintain international peace and security. The more I know about the United Nations, the more I’ve fallen for its charm. Of course, there are many criticisms. I was impressed with the purpose and meaning.
Especially, the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) 2030 are so lovely. It is a collection of 17 global goals designed to be a “blueprint to achieve a better and more sustainable future for all”. Among them, the most fundamental thing I think is “peace.”
So, my favorite quote is “There is no path to peace. Peace is the path” by Mahatma Gandhi.
4. “Artistic Sense”
: I have a good sense of design, video production, script writing, and music. I’m not just an expert, but I know how it feels. Since I’m not a genius, I try to develop my senses. I often surf the “Behance” or “Pinterest,” a paradise for artists. I am interested in many things because I have to see and hear many things deeply.
I like Netflix, movies, dramas, and pop music. Recently, my favorite person is “Billie Eilish,” a american singer-songwriter. Her voice and dance are so attractive. I’ll bring the first video I fell in love with.
I already became her fan in 00:35 of this video. ahahaa yeahhh I think each of these will help me a lot when I do a project later or when I plan a campaign, so I am trying hard now. Ah, I also like emotional cafes.
5. “Single Startup Company”
: It has two meanings. The first thing I mean is to run a non-profit startup after I become a doctor. The second means that I will be the CEO of my life and run myself.
I’d like to get a bunch of talented people together and do something big. Something that will surprise the world. To do that, I think I need to live my own life first. Not just talking and useless knowledge learned at school, I really needs real ability. I’m also trying to take a lecture at MOOC like Coursera, edX and MIT OCW.
There are so many things to learn and do in the world! I hope to be the main character of this rapidly changing era. 🙂
I think I introduced myself too long. Well… it’s over anyway! Bye~
It’s been a long time since I’ve sent me a letter. I may not have had that much leeway. Sometimes I live very hard, sometimes I’m exhausted after a lot of work. I used to look back on myself a lot in the past, but I rarely look back these days.
I think it’s an excuse that I didn’t have time. I could have taken the time to do enough. What was the reason? Maybe I’ve lost my “hopes” for myself. I don’t know if I chose the right word. I can call it “expectation”, or “faith”.
I think it’s much harder to apply “growth mindset” than when I read a book. I always want to grow up. I want to work harder and do well. think and try to excel. However, trying is a different matter from actually doing so.
I think I’m having a hard time because I’m not as successful as I think. This is the question of “what is success?” My reference point seems to be too external. If there is something I regret now, I wonder if I could have trusted me more. What if I had respected myself a little more, loved and cared for myself? It may be an illusion, but my inner self would have been more colorful.
Reading poetry, opening your eyes to art, listening to my own playlist, will this make me a little happier? Each man walks his own way. How was your life? Was it a roller coaster? Was it okay? or fun? I don’t think I can assess my life. Because I want to edit my own life as I please. That’s why I don’t feel proud.
Do you think it’s because I don’t know myself well? So the majority of successful people may be keeping a diary and meditating. For me, this is that time to self-reflect. I think I should write it more often now.
According to “ABC Australia”, This year’s Australia Day Live at the Sydney Opera House Forecourt and Circular Quay is a night to acknowledge the Aussie spirit and celebrate our strength. Aussie music icons Vanessa Amorosi, John Williamson, The Original Seekers, Eurovision star Isaiah Firebrace, along with rockers Eskimo Joe and singing star Christine Anu. Artists are accompanied by the Sydney Symphony Orchestra.
It is on 26 January at 7:30pm AEDT. I have spent many years in Australia, but it is the first time I have seen a concert at an opera house. yeahhh 🙂
There were so many people and colorful performances and orchestra made my ears happy. Especially, “I am, you are, we are Australian.” was the most impressive. It was touching to see different people singing in one scene in different places.
Do you know what Australia Day celebrates?
Australia Day is the official national day of Australia. Celebrated annually on 26 January, it marks the anniversary of the 1788 arrival of the First Fleet of British ships at Port Jackson, New South Wales, and the raising of the Flag of Great Britain at Sydney Cove by Governor Arthur Phillip.
An Australian friend told me that today is not just a happy day for someone. Actually, that’s what I thought. Unlike other countries, which celebrate independence or another special day as a national holiday, Australia Day was likely to have a particularly loud voice of concern, as it commemorates the start of colonization.
In fact, it’s been a long time, and I’ve heard that now it’s more of a summer festival than a solemn national holiday. Barbecue parties and various contests are held everywhere. But aboriginal groups call it “Day of Mourning,” “Invasion Day” and “Survival Day.” It would be a deep wound to them that took the land away. My hometown also knows the pain because it has lost the country.
What is the general idea of Australians? In a recent survey, 56 percent of the respondents said they don’t care at any time as long as there is a national holiday. 49 percent said “Australia Day should not be an offensive date for the natives.”
Australian of the Year 2020
And I was curious about something else. I heard that Australian of the Year 2020 awarded to eye surgeon James Muecke. What was impressive was that he didn’t talk about blindness in his acceptance speech. Instead he chose to focus on Australia’s “most recent catastrophe”.
“The uncompromising bushfires that have swept through our country have left widespread disruption and heartbreak in their wake, and few of us remain untouched,” Dr. Muecke said.
“Too many people have lost their lives, and the devastation of our landscape and iconic wildlife is beyond belief. And all of this on the back of the unprecedented droughts and floods that have tortured our beloved country and farming communities over the past few years — my thoughts are with all who’ve been affected.”
In his eyes, firefighters and emergency services personnel were the real heroes. “Whilst I’ve not been fighting fires, I humbly accept this award and, with it, my role to contribute to this great country,” he said.
Grand finale of Sydney Australia Day 2020
It was so spectacular. And it was really fun today.
What is arrogance? Arrogance (also called Hubris) indicates strong pride or acting extremely self-important. Examples include making oneself far more important than others or superiority. (in Wiki) I think it is often used in the opposite to ‘humility’. Both are ambiguous concepts. How do we practically apply it? Some people say “Someone’s success was due to modesty”. I don’t want to be arrogant. But it not means that just to talk about it not makes you be humble. So what do we do?
“There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. ‘Good pride’ represents our dignity and self-respect. ‘Bad pride’ is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance.”
– John C. Maxwell
Arrogant : Don’t know who you are
I thought I have a good faith. But in tough situations, I could not be grateful and hated God. Why couldn’t I be thankful? Because I’m higher than God. Obviously there was a will of God, but I never thought about it. And I didn’t know anything about God’s thoughts and feelings. How painful the God is! He have been betrayed by a man for 6,000 years now. When I think of this, my situation is nothing and I am glad to understand the heart of God a little. When I received everything as gratitude, everything is appreciated. Now who should I be? I want to be the man who the God acknowledge.
“We have to work far beyond our ability. Always being out on the edge is where heaven will help us. That’s faith.”
Traditionally the purpose of Startup companies is to earn profit. Is only start-up for profit? No. All companies want to make money. At present, however, none of the profit-companies reveal their purpose. At one point, they did not sell the product. They sell sensitivity, human, platform. Now people don’t easily buy products of commercial company. They don’t move easily. They are more easily moved by ‘Meaning‘. What will they get from buying this, and what will the company do with the money? So, many companies sell ‘meaning’, their mission, identity. But unlike them, here are companies whose mission is ” Everything.” There is ‘Nonprofit organization.’ My dream is Nonprofit Start-up into which the two are combined.
Nonprofit Start-up : Example ‘Watsi’
Nonprofit Start-up! Isn’t this word wonderful? I fell in love. Looking at me and my friends around me, the perception of NPO was not good. First of all, It’s not cool! In fact, it is fair to say that corporations are too cool. They invest a lot of money to recruit talent. So what do you think it’ll be now? All the talented people gather there! If so, should the nonprofit always be beaten by the profit? I don’t think so! Peter F. Drucker said Mission is the most important thing for NPO in his book, ‘Managing the Non-Profit Organization’. I also want to challenge myself. I try to learn many things. First, Nonprofit Start-up is already a known word in the world. Many people cite ‘Watsi‘ as an example. I should study more.
“The “non-profit” institution neither supplies goods or services nor controls. Its “product” is neither a pair of shoes nor an effective regulation. Its product is a changed human being. The non-profit institutions are human-change agents. Their “product” is a cured patient, a child that learns, a young man or woman grown into a self-respecting adult; a changed human life altogether.” ― Peter F. Drucker, Managing the Non-Profit Organization: Principles and Practices
Why did I do hard? What shall I do this for? At first, it was because I found the most valuable thing. It was so much fun, happy, and I’m fun to learn. At that times, I was at a loss for the confusion of values. But after setting up the values, everything was so transparent. So I want to work wholeheartedly. My goal is always to work far harder. What I want to compliment myself on is that I have been wanted to work hard for a long time. But I was immature in many things. First, I tried to do it on my own. Second, I want to establish my own righteousness. Third, the most important thing is that I misunderstood the will of god. No matter what happened, I could not be grateful and hated God.
“What would God acknowledge? We truly must become the light of the world. We are destined to be the world-class light. Let us become the light that reveals God’s glory. And let us fulfill all the filial duty as God’s children so that God receives all the glory forever.“
What is arrogance?
So what is arrogance? I thought I have a good faith. But in tough situations, I could not be grateful and hated God. Why couldn’t I be thankful? Because I’m higher than God. Obviously there was a will of God, but I never thought about it. And I didn’t know anything about God’s thoughts and feelings. How painful the God is! He have been betrayed by a man for 6,000 years now. When I think of this, my situation is nothing and I am glad to understand the heart of God a little. When I received everything as gratitude, everything is appreciated. Now who should I be? I want to be the man who the God acknowledge.
“We have to work far beyond our ability. Always being out on the edge is where heaven will help us. That’s faith.“
